he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
