I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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