Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
