i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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