I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
