im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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