Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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