i would punch a child for taco bell
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
