OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
