I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
