I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
