Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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