How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
