no, he came in my armpit
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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