I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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