i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
