he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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