For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
