I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
