Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
