Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
