sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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