I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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