How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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