I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
