You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
