He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
