I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
well you can't waste a boner
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
