doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
