Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
