Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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