You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
