My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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