doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
