dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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