It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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