sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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