when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
