I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
