anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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