is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
