I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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