New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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