I must be too annoying 4 u.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
