Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
