WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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