Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
