I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
