On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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