I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
